Unexpected Answer

I don't know why this answer to our prayer seems unexpected.  Perhaps because it's not the answer I was praying for or expecting. Hmph.  It just goes to show how little of the big picture I understand.

For some time, we have continued to ask for God to provide a class for Ross to teach at Bethel.  Until the department head changed last year, he had been graciously provided with one Introduction to the Bible class to teach each semester (and even one J-term).  This gift of a class made a big difference in our finances and the extra income was really helpful.  Add to that the joy he received from teaching this class and the opportunities he had to get to know students (many of whom became leaders working closely with him in Campus Ministries - one even marrying my brother ;)) and having that class to teach was a huge blessing in all of our lives.

For over a year now, Ross has not been invited to teach this class.  I'm not going to lie - I've been mad and harboring some slightly bitter feelings about this for several reasons which I won't go into but I will say, I believe in Ross, his teaching style, his impact on students lives and his desire for students to understand the whole story of God's redemptive plan.  I have continued to pray, in faith, for a class for him to teach.   It's been a long season of no teaching for Ross and there is no class in sight, but I still have prayed and asked others to pray.

Today I was feeling conflicted.  Last year I only taught 2 full nights on Monday and Tuesday, squeezing in two more lessons on Wednesdays before heading down to church to accompany the choir rehearsal.  So I basically worked three nights a week and Thursday night was our 'family' night.  As of today, I will be adding 5 students to my roster on Thursday nights (I was already planning on 3 of those students).  I was feeling guilty for not having a 'week' night dinner time with my family and I was talking with the Lord about this decision to open up Thursday nights for students when I believe the Holy Spirit  whispered to my soul - "Emily, do you not see?  Do you not understand?  I am providing for your family through these new students."  Hmm ... yep.  God sure is providing for us and this income will help make up some of the difference of Ross not having a class.  On top of that, our kids do not have to go to day care - one of their parents is with them at all times (during a normal week of work for Ross and me).  While I wish for dinners at home with my boys, for now, in this season, I am blessed to be employed by many wonderful families (hopefully) teaching kids the love of music through piano lessons.  It also makes me cherish our weekends together and it causes me to pay attention and be more present in the time we do have together as a family of four.  I believe our prayers have been answered through these new students and I believe God knows the desire of my heart to some day be at home with my family during the afternoon/dinner hour ... but until something major changes in our life, I am very satisfied in the work He has provided for my hands to do and I am thankful for answered prayers.