Pay Back

Little brother definitely is a projectile spitter.   I think he could win competitions for how far he can spit.  At times, it is humorous to literally hear it go 'splat' as it hits our wood floors.  Having long hair and a projectile spitter is not a great combination.  Tonight I went to move my hair off of my shoulder and my hand came away covered in spit that had been hiding in my hair (don't worry - it had only been there for a few minutes - it was still wet). I frequently have to change shirts, pants, everything I'm wearing because of his spit up.  Thank goodness our washing machine got fixed this week!  This is a new adventure to me because Big Brother was not a projectile spitter AND I had short hair when he was this little.  If I'm ever out in public and you see me with spit up down my back that perhaps I have not noticed please feel free to alert me.  I've started carrying an extra shirt for ME in the diaper bag.  I was a projectile spitter, so I'm pretty sure my parents are thinking 'pay back!' whenever I have a story for them about Little Brother's spit up mishaps.

Big Brother Brilliance

Overheard around our home over the past week or so ... (as seen on facebook):

I had just exited the shower and I was getting ready for the day in my bathroom.  Big Brother entered and sweetly asked, 'Mama, can I watch T.V. while you finish getting pretty?'  Well when you put it that way ... Yep.  He was allowed to watch PBS Kids while I finished getting ready.

Big Brother and I rarely have knock down arguments about anything (typically not his temperament) but yesterday, we did.  It was partly (mostly) my fault - he was tired, probably on the verge of hungry and being his 3.5 year old self.  I was hurrying to get everything together (meal for a friend, piano teaching bag, purse, diaper bag, Little Brother, etc.) and out the door in 10 minutes or less and I asked him to help put on his jeans (still working on getting dressed by himself) and his shoes (since the addition of a chart with rewards this week, he's been magically getting those shoes on with very little assistance).  He was dragging himself, laying down, across the floor instead of even finding his jeans (which he had chucked into the living room while not happy with my request) and then he was walking around in my sneakers instead of putting on his shoes (while cute when not in a rush - oh my blood was boiling because he knew he was pushing my buttons at this point).  I was feeling-less-than-patient and dumped him into the van while he was screaming for his shoes which I brought but I had stopped talking to him at this point so he didn't know they were in the car and he was just pitching a fit.  After a few minutes of driving, him calming down and deep breathing on my part, I attempted a conversation about all of the behavior that had just happened and I was asking him why he thought I was mad and he chirped, 'but I'm really great at apologizing'.  OH BOY!  I swallowed back a laugh and a smile and was thankful he couldn't entirely see my face since I was driving.  I did continue the conversation because it was important for him to understand his lack of obedience but that little 'chirp' was sure a memorable moment.  AND sure enough, within about 5 minutes of me being done talking to him, he was sound asleep.  Sigh.

"Why not?"

The question, 'why not?' has been stumping me today.  Big Brother has been weekly rotating some challenging words into his vocabulary.  2 weeks ago the favored phrase was 'I can't' and I am learning to respond to that with 'I would like you to try' - that seems to be working or at least deflecting some of the annoyance of those words for me.  Today, his new 'saying' is 'why not' (we've been through just 'why' but this is different). He does not always use it in the right context so it leads to ridiculous conversations.  The washing machine repair man was here today and Big Brother asked me 'why not was he fixing the machine' - hmm - and then he asked 'why not was he wearing a hat' - he wasn't wearing a hat so if he had flipped a few words around it would have worked but ... :) Oh the challenges of the English language.

Sundays

What does your typical Sunday look like? 

As I was thinking about my 'new normal' Sunday 'routine', it got me thinking about how I have spent many Sundays in my life. 

Church has always been a part of my Sunday morning for as long as I have been alive! :) After church, though, has varied throughout my life. 

During the 'early years' of growing up, I remember coming home after church and eating lunch together as a family.  After lunch, I know Dad often took a nap.  I have memories of going to Oxford Valley Mall with my Mom on a lazy Sunday afternoon.  I also remember playing outside in the neighborhood, finishing up homework projects, riding bikes around town, and reading favorite books.  We always headed back to church on Sunday nights and usually this included some sort of music rehearsal - like the PB&J choir (kids choir) with Mrs. Dow - and some sort of kids programming - like Fun Foundations with Jeff and Ginny (if I'm remembering correctly!).  There were some killer games of 'free ball' that happened in the gym and lots of giggling and running around the church - I'm sure there was also educational stuff going on but I mostly remember the 'fun' of being back at church with my friends and their families.  

Fast forward to about 9th grade on and after church, I was a part of the Bucks County Youth Orchestra and our rehearsals were on Sunday afternoons.  I played french horn in the wind symphony and the orchestra.  It was (mostly) fun, it helped keep my 'lip' in shape, and I had friends in the BCYO program and in the horn section so I'm sure at times I had more fun than our directors appreciated.  :) When not rehearsing for the BCYO, I know I enjoyed Sunday afternoon siestas and I'm sure I was also cramming to get homework done before leaving for girls choir and Throneroom rehearsals (youth group worship team) which happened before our leadership team meetings (before y.g. we met with our youth pastor and the adult leaders to get ready to 'lead' our peers), then there was typically a run to 7-11 or Starbucks or somewhere to grab something caffeinated/something to eat (like we needed the energy - ha!) before attending the leadership team stuff and then ultimately ending the night with youth group.  (I LOVED having youth group on Sunday nights - I'm not kidding - it was awesome.) 

Once I hit the college years, I'm pretty sure Sunday afternoons went something like this:  eat brunch in the DC after church,  enjoy a nice nap, get ready for the week ahead of class, practice the piano (I loved the quiet of Carolyn's studio on a Sunday afternoon) and call home to chat with my family in PA.  During my first two years, I also regularly attended Bethel's Vespers student led worship service at 10 p.m.  and by my senior year, I was the leader of a Vespers team, so from about 6 p.m.-midnight I was heavily involved in leading my team and community in worship - such great memories!  

Early married life found me usually enjoying lunch with Ross and looking forward to a nap after an early morning start, getting up and out to lead worship at Salem Baptist (this was the only day I really had to get up and out for awhile because my jobs were really flexible).  Back in the day, those naps could be anywhere from 2 to 3 to 4 hours if I wanted!  Crazy to think about!  Sometimes, our small group would meet on Sunday afternoons or evenings - a cherished time with our married couple friends.  Ross and I would usually end our Sundays in front of the TV (or with me in front of the TV and Ross finishing up homework for his graduate program).  Ross rarely waitered at DP's on Sundays so that was a sacred day for us.  

As jobs have changed and children have been added to our family, our weekends remain precious time for us to be together as a family.  Music ministry continues to play a huge part of our Sunday morning routine since I am currently leading worship at a church in a neighboring city every week and Ross is leading worship one Sunday a month at another church.  After church, we usually make something for lunch as a family and then it's often sports watching time for Big Brother and Dad - Little B. usually hangs out with them, too.  While that is going on, part of my 'new normal' routine is that I have been escaping to our local Aldi to stock up on groceries for the week.  If I am feeling up to it, I will invite Big Brother to come with as it's good one on one time for the two of us.  Shopping with a list and in a smaller grocery store makes the grocery buying process so much faster and I can usually get out of there under 40 dollars in 30 minutes.  Amazing!  We usually try to incorporate a Sunday afternoon nap into our 'routine' and a walk to the park, a skype chat with family if possible, followed by dinner, he bed time routine for the boys and TV watching for the parents.  Ross and I have also been trying to intentionally talk through our upcoming week to make sure we're on the same page as much as possible before we dive into another week.  

In writing this post, it was interesting for me to realize how much the role of music and worship in the church has a played a part of my Sundays from the time I was a little girl through the present day. It's also neat to see how important being with family in one form or another has been to my Sunday routine.  Even with lots 'new normals' developing in my life, it's good to recognize the constants!

Sick Day

100.   I think I washed my hands at least 100 times today.  Going between the two boys meant extra hand sanitizer and washes to attempt to prevent Little Brother from being infected - that is a 'new normal' during germ season 2011/2012.

10.  I am pretty sure Ethan filled the puke bucket at least 10 times today.  10 is also the amount of hours Krista Gleason spent with me and the boys, helping out with Luke and watching them while I went to the dentist.  SO blessed to have her with me today - it really helped a not so fun day be much more bearable and actually enjoyable.

6.  Yes, I allowed Ethan to lay on the couch and watch about 6 hours of TV today (2 of them were filled with Praise Baby DVDs so he was infused with worship tunes for 2 hours).

5. The number of saltine crackers I allowed him to snack on when he said he was hungry and the amount that reappeared within a half hour of consuming them.

4.  Ethan is currently in his fourth pair of pajamas.

2. The amount of hours we played at an indoor playground yesterday where I am sure he contracted these germs.

1 three year old, who I love very much, and I pray healing over him while he sleeps tonight.

Super Mom

I suppose while raising kids life will always feel like we're adjusting to a 'new normal'.  As soon as we think we have a pattern of behavior figured out, it changes.  Can I get an 'AMEN' from any parents out there??

Take, for example, Big Brother's favorite saying (LAST week): "I can't!"  I was brainstorming with my Mom different ways to respond to this saying because it had me stumped.  So, she asked me yesterday, "How's Big Brother doing with 'I can't'?" I thought about it for a second and realized we weren't battling that 'saying' this week.  Huh.  This week I'm pretty sure we're back to the not-so-innocent question 'whhhyy?' and I've got to be honest, I don't always have the greatest attitude or patience when answering that question.  Something about how I have to really engage my reasoning and logic when interacting with Big Brother really wears me out some days!

With Little Brother, I'm constantly trying to figure out his feedings - timing them, why he gets mad during some of them and not during others, if something I am eating causes him digestion issues,  when I should pump to make sure I have enough supply on hand for when I'm teaching, etc. etc.  AND once again, he stumps me time after time.  Being up multiple times a night, even when these interruptions in my sleep fall into patterns, is still tiring.

So - I guess part of my new normal is learning how to function on less sleep (for L.B.) with GREATER brain capacity to 'parent' Big Brother.  Hmm ... sounds a little bit like I need to put on my super mom cape.  Now if only I could fly ...

My Eyeballs Say "Thank you!"

Short post here ... but my main point is that in this 'new normal' state, I am thankful for all of our friends who are willing to help watch our kids.  I have always been very aware of and thankful for their loyal friendship and willingness to do anything to help support our family, but as I adjust to life without Mom around to watch the kids during the day whenever I have a doctor's appointment, hair cut or something of the 'I need to be without kids for a bit' nature, I know I have friends I can call on to help take care of my kids.  

Thank you for today, Stephanie!  My eyeballs are thankful, too, because I am wearing my last pair of contacts and my eyes are definitely ready for a fresh pair which should arrive in the next few days thanks to my very helpful eye doctor.  We are very blessed to have really special friends who live close by and who love our kids.  

(Random side note ... in the past couple of weeks, as I have gone back to work and Ross and I spend less time in the house at the same time with me going back to teaching piano at night, the dishes have been sitting clean in the dishwasher and re-washed due to a lack of communication ... need to figure out a better way to communicate with my husband that 'I had to take one dish out before I left for work, but the dishwasher is CLEAN' ... I find the dishwasher issue receiving less priority over other things I absolutely MUST communicate to him like Luke's feeding schedule when I have minimal conversation with him during the day ... hmmmm ... post-it note time?! :)) 

WWW

Food for thought ...

When I was in elementary school, playing Oregon Trail on an Apple computer in the school's computer lab was a real treat.  I learned how to answer the family phone with a polite "Hello, Ridder's - this is Emily" which became more important as all of our voices (even Josh's for a bit) sounded very similar (minus Dad's voice which was pretty distinct :)).  I remember running to the answering machine after being out for awhile to see if there were any messages and I remember taking down those messages to pass along.

When I was in Junior High, my parents purchased dial-up 'minutes' through AOL and every time one of us (EMRID) logged onto the World Wide Web, the minutes were being deducted from the family account (whoops - I know I cost my parents some money back in the day for going 'over' our minutes - sorry Mom and Dad!).  My time on the computer was limited by those bills and I didn't know any different.

In high school, it was a requirement that we type up our papers, but most of my work in class was done by hand and only final drafts submitted in type.  I also communicated over telephone land-lines (968-0592 any one?!) and hand written notes passed in the hallways with my friends.  The occasional AIM chat definitely happened but the majority of my communication with friends and people did NOT happen over the computer (yet).  I had several friends' home phone numbers memorized at any given time as well as the family calling card number (purchased from Sam's Club).  It was a huge deal when I was given my own 'land line' (which I would pay for monthly) in my bedroom downstairs - the number is escaping me right now.  My parents purchased a 'car phone' (cell phone) to be used ONLY in the car in case of an emergency (or in my case, when I was running late and wouldn't make my curfew).  It was large and in charge ... my mom still has that number though!  When I graduated from high school, my mom encouraged me to use some of my graduation money to purchase a nice canon camera.  She told me I wouldn't regret having a good camera to capture the memories to come - she was totally right!

College for me was still fairly technologically void (compared to life today).   I was persuaded to get a desk top because thefts of lap tops were too risky and there was no real way to secure a lap top when out of the dorm (HA!).  I had voice mail and a phone number but they were connected to my dorm room phone, not a cell phone.  AIM conversations continued and became more prevalent as I was away from many of my high school friends - it was a good way to keep in touch.  I still received snail mail, hand written letters and care packages regularly at my P.O. Box (1777).  Email became more prominent as a communication tool during my college years but don't worry ...  (gasp) Facebook was still not in existence!  I turned my camera film into the school book store to get it developed and always anticipated picking up the envelope to see what images turned out and would be treasured.  I did purchase my first cell phone through TMobile when my parents gifted me a car to have  at college and I still have that same phone number.  The cell phone's main purpose was for emergencies when driving still, very little other communication happened on it besides calls to home because I don't think I had an unlimited national calling plan at the time.  As a graduation gift from college, my parents bought me my first digital camera to capture events such as my wedding, honeymoon and other great 'firsts' of married life during the summer of 2004.

I joined facebook back in 2005 when you had to have a current .edu address to gain access to the (what we now call) 'social media network'.  Since then, social media has literally exploded (in an almost atomic bomb like way) and changed the way I relate to people, connect with people and it's even developed a unique vocabulary.  Skype, chat, 'I'll message you' ... we've turned nouns into verbs and words into abbreviations (LOL or brb?!).  My cell phone is now my primary phone.  We don't have a land line (although that could change as our kids get older).  I text more often than I call.  I email and type more often than I hand write anything.  I rarely use a stamp to send something other than a bill in the mail and I know even that is old fashioned but I still really like writing out checks.  I can video call you and most computers now come with a built-in webcam (no longer something to be purchased separately and installed).  So much has changed from video/file sharing to privacy laws always needing to be reviewed.  Keeping up with the latest models of each new gadget can be mind-numbing.  I now read 50% of my books on my NookColor (and honestly I love it).  Blogging is a word that means something to many of us.  We are in the dark ages and don't have cable OR smart phones and I know how rare that is these days.  The neck breaking pace at which technology is constantly changing makes me a little dizzy at times.

HOWEVER ... in our 'new normal' state, I am so very thankful for the invention of things like Skype and Facebook and email and texting and unlimited long distance calling plans.  I take comfort in these communication tools because even though many of our loved ones are miles away, they can be welcomed into our kitchen to chat with my almost naked 3 year old before he goes to bed or while he's eating his grilled cheese lunch.  How amazing that my grandparents, sister, bro-in-law, dad, kg in MI and friend in Portugal 'met' Luke over Skype!  I can share pictures and status updates that give a peek into our lives with the many many friends and family who care about us and pray for us often.  I can text a question to a friend and know they will respond as soon as they are able.  I can take 1000s of pictures and not have to worry about the cost of developing them.    While I know technology use still needs to be kept in balance with the rest of life and we are constantly discussing appropriate 'screen time' amounts in our home, there are definite advantages to our technology advances and I am thankful for how technology helps the miles not feel so far on days when I'm adjusting to my 'new normal' and would just really like a back scratch from my Mom or a hug from my Dad.

"New Normal"

Well hello there.  Welcome to my new 'journaling' home.

For some time, I have been tossing around the idea of starting another blog.  For those of you who followed my gratitude journaling over about the course of a year, you know I have been rather silent in the blogging world as of late.  I will readily admit, I miss it.  However, I have been feeling the push to start something new, something different.  It has taken me a good length of time to decide to push the 'create a new blog' button and I'll blame it on my slower processing due to sleep deprivation, but I have decided it's time.  After all, so much of my life 'as I knew it' has changed in the past month alone, it only seems appropriate to begin a new blog with a new 'theme' and a new purpose.

So, welcome to my 'new normal'.  The theme of 'new normal' comes from a conversation with my Mom.  We were both trying to wrap our minds around everything happening around us while staying on top of the ever changing details and emotions and she said something along the lines of, "Em, it's okay, it's going to take some time for you to adjust to your new normal".  Talk about nailing it on the head for me in a time of high emotion and feeling somewhat overwhelmed.  Oh the wisdom of mother's!

September 2011 will forever be remembered by me as a really amazing ride on a pretty steep roller coaster of change.  Here is a fairly brief summary of the vast amount of change that has occurred in my life in the past month.    The month began with a great amount of anticipation and wonder.

I was:

-Anticipating the birth of my second son, wondering about how "Little Brother's" birth and arrival would occur and what the shift in our family dynamics would be like

-Wondering how the move of my parents to New Jersey after almost 4 beautiful years of living 3.8 miles from each other would impact me

-Anticipating my 30th birthday and entering a new decade of life while anticipating celebrating the gift of life over and over (because September is birthday month on the "Ridder" side of the family),

-Wondering how our past year of working through our BGC church planter's assessment center recommendations will play out in the coming year

Honestly, the list goes on but those are some of the major life events that were taking place all at the same time.   Throw in many visitors, gifts, and meals to welcome Little Brother into the world and my Mom always managing to bring something else over to my house every time she packed a new box - all blessings -  but my physical house was/is also experiencing a very much 'in the process of recovery' new normal.  With everything (my emotions, home, and family) in a state of upheaval, the month ended with many tears, goodbyes and prayers for my Ridder family as we bid my parents a safe journey to New Jersey and I was left with a lot to process and many adjustments to make in how we do 'normal' around here.

So, as I process our 'new normal' this is the place where I will share the latest 'Big Brother' tidbits (you won't want to miss them as 3 year old logic is astounding at times), I will update you on the 'Little Brother' and how he is growing and never ceasing to amaze us.  I will also chronicle our family's spiritual journey as we process how our family is growing, how God is growing us as parents, kids and kingdom people.  I will attempt to be real and candid about our new reality and the challenges and joys presented to us in our 'new normal'.  As you follow our/my journey, I would love for any of you readers to weigh in about 'new normals' in your life or times when you have experienced lots of these kinds of moments.

Amid all of these changes, the one thing that has been a constant, never-changing comfort to me when I'm up with Little Brother and processing life in the quietness of the night, is God's faithfulness.  It is His faithfulness that has seen me through transitions in my life before and I know He will be faithful to provide for our needs during this time.  I also take great comfort in knowing that I am never alone, He goes before and behind me and will never let me walk alone.  Here are a few lyrics from my 'anthem' for this season, Never Once (Matt Redman):

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we've come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You've done

Knowing every victory 

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful!